brrly babbles about trig and stress LOL!!!

hello guys i had a bad day today and i need to study for a math quiz but i literally physically cannot do anything right now because i just want to go to sleep and never wake up again but i need to remember some formulas because i kind of forgot them over winter break so im writing this blog post to motivate me and also to write down the formulas

double angles:

sin: 

1. 2sincos

cos:

1. 2cos^2 - 1

2. 1 - 2sin^2

3. cos^2 - sin^2

tan:

1. 2tan/1 - tan^2

half angles:

sin:

1. + or - sqrt(1+cos/2)

cos:

1. + or - sqrt(1-cos/2)

tan:

1. + or - sqrt(1+cos/1-cos)

2. 1+cos/sin

3. sin/1-cos

okay thats enough of trig cus i just wrote down the formulas from memory and repeated the ones i got wrong and i think ive got it so thats all for trig

anyways i am so stressed guys its so bad im so irritable at everything and anything and it makes me feel like a bad person for wanting to lash out on everything and anything including the people i love and i cant focus on what i want to focus on aka school and homework like thank goodness i did all of it during school today because if i still had homework to do in this state of mind id probably slam my laptop on the ground and then never go to school again

i don't know why my stress is especially bad today i think its just built up from the week so far and i finally hit my breaking point today when something happened and i was just crying on my way to the library and it was so embarrassing because im thinking about all the people from school that probably saw me crying but whatever i dont care i needed to cry and its stupid to judge someone for crying like boy you're acting as if you don't have emotions like obviously you do since you care so much to feel negatively about someone else who is able to show their emotions unlike yourself

anyways im going on a rampage today i have gotten so close to saying some not-so-passive aggressive things and i've been able to hold back but i think the fact that i've been holding back has made my stress worse which is why this blog is so important to me! it's kinda funny how mad i am and how much i can say when i'm mad like dang i usually don't know what to say during a conversation but when i'm mad it's so easy to say something negative and rude not saying i'm a negative and rude person in general but like it's just easy to be mean and rude more than nice and understanding

also sorry for the lack of grammatical punctuation but honestly i'm not sorry cus i could care less whether or not you comprehend this blog post because it's for me to process my emotions and to lower my stress levels and to help myself get back to the rational mindset that i usually have so who cares if i don't use a period or two or three

i'm also sad because i wasn't able to work on the problem set for PROMYS today because i wasn't home until like 8 and i was just trying to calm down from 8-9:30 and then i studied a bit for my precalc quiz and now its 10:30 and im currently writing this blog post. i still need to shower and go to sleep by like 11:30 so i don't have a lot of time to work on the problem set. i also have a lot of other extracurricular responsibilities to do and i don't want to do any of them because i'm just freaking tired guys. im so freaking burnt out and it's not even finals yet and it's going to be worse when finals come around. maybe i just need a really good break guys maybe i need more sleep and maybe i need to focus on my diet and mental health and only then will i be able to focus on my extracurricular responsibilities

but like i just dont want to do school anymore or anything at this point but thats how im currently feeling so i hope i feel better by the end of this week because i have that very important cancer campaign coming up that i lead the team for and it's fun at times but i just feel so stressed about it because i feel like i'm not even doing good enough for the campaign and for the campaign i also have to step out of my comfort zone a lot of the time like last year was my first time having a meeting with a stranger online and it was so stressful but ive grown to be comfortable w her so shes not really a stranger anymore but last year she was and it was very nerve-wracking like i was shaking and i could barely speak to her but now im used to it BUT this year i want to get a business sponsorship for the campaign and its a lot of planning and scary stuff and reaching out to people and talking to strangers and it just makes me stressed just thinking about it and the only thing that could make me happy right now is that PROMYS camp that i mentioned earlier and its a math camp where u stay at boston college for 6 weeks and all you do pretty much is learn number theory and math and meet other people who also like math and it sounds so fun and nice and i just want to do math all day and get to relax and go to a college and stay there but i also don't really want to leave my mom for 6 weeks because she already has to go to work all the time and she barely gets to see me so it makes me sad that we won't be able to see each other for 6 weeks and i'm fine with leaving my friends cus i'm fine with just talking over the phone and i'm an independent person so i don't really mind not being able to hang out with my friends cus i don't do that a whole lot over the summer anyway

okay goodnight everyone i am done i will be better tomorrow