brrly babbles about her chem test (score reveal...)
hey guys so erm i cried today so that says a little something before i get into what my score is but anyway when i got my test back i got 4 more points (last time i got a 21/29, this time i got a 25/29) than i did last time on the mcq but the thing is........two of the questions that i got wrong this time, i got them right last time. the test retake was the exact same as the first test we took so i literally got the same question right the first time i took the test and then got it wrong LIKE HOW DID THAT EVEN HAPPEN and like if i had gotten those two right i would have gotten a 93% on the mcq!!!!!!!!!!
i started crying when i got back to my seat and a couple of my friends were around me so they saw and it was embarrassing and it wasn't like dramatic ass crying i was just upset that i had messed up like that and i was so close to an A without extra credit. overall i got a 29/34 (w/o extra credit, with extra credit i got a 32/34) which isn't a bad score but i would have gotten an A if i hadn't been so stressed during the test and just FOCUSED like the questions weren't even hard it was particulate diagrams like boy that was the easiest part of the test and i still managed to mess that up. and i also got another question wrong because i was so stressed that i kind of forgot what the question was asking and thought it was asking for the overall pressure instead of just what pressure the oxygen was exerting.
also don't think im a sensitive baby cus i cried over a test that i didn't even do horrible on. i just felt so disappointed that i was only two questions away from my very goal since the beginning of the year and i messed up on questions that i didn't mess up on last time and it just made me feel so sad and like my stress has been getting to me and i was sad that my stressed practically amounted to nothing well not really nothing but i wanted it to amount to an A but i couldn't even do that for myself and prove to myself that i AM smart and that i CAN achieve what i want if i work hard enough
its okay i think it was really just my stress and i need to calm down when i take chemistry tests. when i take tests in general i get really stressed and anxious and my brain starts racing and its horrible because i lose my train of thought easily and i cant focus and then boom i get the wrong answer or i run out of time. like in math i don't get stressed on quizzes because i know that i know the material and i don't doubt my ability to get an A on the quizzes and the same goes for the math tests but i get a bit more stressed during those so i don't score as well. i also just don't study for the tests because math is very intuitive to me and i have built a good intuition for solving math problems. with chem however i don't think my intuition is as good and therefore i spend more time and the more time i spend on the questions the more stressed i get because i feel like i start to run out of time so i try to hurry up but hurrying up just makes me more stressed and BOOM i don't get the right answer.
i have another chem test next week and then its finals the very next week so i'm very stressed and scared but it's okay i got this! except i'm very very stressed like i cried yesterday and then i cried today. like i haven't cried in like a month and i usually don't cry at all and all of a sudden im crying two days in a row???? that doesn't happen to me very often and also my room is a mess and my clothes are all over the place and my desk is a mess and my diet is a mess and my face is a mess because im so stressed and i have so much acne and my legs hurt so bad when i run bceause i think i'm injured now and i have a coding project to finish for the girls who code challenge and i like coding but i feel stressed about the fact that i probably wont have a lot of time to do it because of finals and everything and then the application for the PROMYS program is due on march 1st which isn't a lot of time to ME because i'm so busy that the time i have for myself to work on the application sums up to about 2 weeks so it just makes me stressed and i haven't even finished any of the problems but i feel VERY VERY close to finishing the first one. the second one is a bit confusing to me because like it seemed too simple like ????? am i just... stupid??? its okay whatever technically i solved the second but idk cus the answer is too simple for it to be right??? i didn't even have to do any math to answer it i just thought abt it and like i got the answer in a good 10 minutes but oh well one and a half problems down! i really do hope i get into PROMYS it seems very fun. and it'll make my summer productive. not excited to leave my mom for 6 weeks but its okay.
i just hope i can get my life together soon. i feel like this is the worst week of school ive ever had like i havent been happy a single day of the week and its almost already friday. and i wont be happy tomorrow either because i have to run. i like running but in cross country its just painful and i feel so bad about myself because im not as fast as some of the varsity girls and its my first year in cross country but i feel like i should be doing better. but when i do try harder it hurts so bad and i already feel like im injured so thats even worse. oh well its okay i dont feel like ranting abt that rn lollololl
okay i feel like im just overwhelmed and i don't have a clear overview of my priorities right now because im so stressed so i'm going to list them out
school stuff
- math test next week
- chem test next week
- very possibly a comp sci a quiz next week
- finals for
- math
- ap chem
- ap comp sci
- world history
- spanish
- two volunteer events next weekend that practically take up my entire weekend
- project for the girls who code ai x sustainability challenge
- PROMYS application
- cross country track season (theres a track meet every week until may and they take like 6 hours)
- i have to work on getting this workshop finalized for a club that im activities coordinator of but i honestly have no idea what my next steps should be
- im a leader of a cancer campaign and our kickoff date is very soon. in fact its on my birthday lol but i need to get some team meetings done very soon as well as some business sponsorship outreach. very stressful this might be one of the extracurriculars that stresses me out the most.
- my future
- chem tests
- cross country
- the cancer campaign im a part of
- club responsibilities
- friends and social life
- my eating habits
- wasting time
- my room
- cleaning up
- taking a break
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