brrly babbles about overstimulation

Hi guys!!! Currently im on my phone in the car driving to a restaurant and i was thinking about how i should be making use of my time since the drive is 30 minutes long. I’ve been trying to improve my time management and stop mysellf from indulging in wasteless activities when I could be spending my time doing something more productive. Also my phone automatically capitalizes and it’s just easier to be grammatically correct on my phone so my grammar and punctuation will be a bit different than my other blog posts 

Anyways I feel like i spend too much time doing stuff that doesn’t matter like scrolling on TikTok or just talking with my friends. LIKE obviously talking with friends and socializing is important but sometimes I call with them while trying to be productive because I don’t want to feel…alone…and it’s like self sabotaging because instead of putting all my brain power into the activity I should be focusing on I’m instead talking with friends!!! Also sometimes I scroll on TikTok to give myself a break or like I do something else other than work as a break but then I feel like everything I do is me taking a break and I never feel productive!!! OH I KNOW it’s imposter syndrome most definitely. Whenever I do something I always find a way to bring my achievements down and like it keeps me humble but at the same time feeds a lot into my insecurity and personally I think feeling insecure is not a good thing. I would like to be happy that I’ve done something good or productive but instead of feeling that way I think, “You could do WAYYY better than that like come on buddy don’t play with me right now…” LIKE OKAY YOU’RE BLOCKED. How do I block myself guys

Anyway other than imposter syndrome I think the fact that I often overstimulate myself instead of letting my thoughts speak to me also plays a role in why I can't focus. 

anyways guys this is kimberly from 3 days later and i'm back on my laptop so my usual punctuation will continue! you know how i said that i often scroll on tiktok?? well recently in english class we've started fahrenheit 451 and honestly it's given me more perspective on the effects of overstimulation. like do you ever scroll in tiktok looking for the meaning of life? NO! you scroll on tiktok to distract yourself from life and whatever you're procrastinating because tiktok has the visuals to stimulate that part of your brain idk what part it is because i dont care and the sound to stimulate another part of your brain. okay so i just searched it up and the part of the brain that processes visual information is the occipital lobe and the part of the brain that processes auditory information is the AUDITORY cortex. who would've thought! but anyway like i was saying tiktok is like the ultimate overstimulation machine. like millie would be on tiktok nonstop no breaks no food no nothing just her shell earbud things and her phone. also the shell earbud thingys remind me of airpods and that really just puts everything into perspective. like we're always overstimulated in this society and therefore we're like slowly turning into the society of fahrenheit 451. personally i think that we'll never reach a point where we're BURNING books and history but it's kinda scary to see the reality of fahrenheit 451 in our society. 

isn't it weird how everyone always has their earbuds in though nowadays I MEAN it's always because we're listening to music but some people have their earbuds in even when they're hanging out their friends. like do you really need something to distract your brain that often that you're doing it while you're with your friends? i think that this really reveals the truth about our society and how we're devolving because we always need something to overstimulate ourselves. we can't deal with boring situations where there's nothing but our thoughts to keep us busy because we don't want to face the truth and think about our lives and whatever. it's a good thing to think though and there's a reason why so many people try to remove overstimulating objects from their lives and do these challenges where they let themselves be bored in order to think. i watched quite a few youtube videos on self-improvement because i want to improve myself obviously but also because they're really interesting and i was trying to procrastinate my homework but anyways a lot of them would remove items that allowed them to overstimulate such as their phone. some people deleted social media apps, some people removed all technology from their lives, some people replaced their phones with these crappy weird ones that prevented overstimulation, you get the point. as a result of doing these challenges, a lot of people were forced to think because they were occupied with nothing except their thoughts UNLESS they were doing work or something that stimulated their brain but otherwise they had their thoughts. 

obviously stimulation is good for your brain cus you go insane if you're with your thoughts for a long time and like whatever but overstimulation just gives you no time to think at ALL and therefore you lose all meaning of life and you can't even self reflect on your mistakes and then BOOM you're the most boring and meaningless and obsolete person on planet earth. jk guys i'm not a mean person all of you guys have meaning but have you guys ever felt like a sense of no worth or no motivational drive or ambition because you've been on tiktok or video games for so long?? like thats what i felt in 2020 which was like the peak era for overstimulation since we were stuck in our houses all day and obviously humans have to balance their routines by going to work and balancing it out with stimulation at home with whatever we want but because 2020 quarantine happened, humans were more prone to overstimulate themselves since yk...quarantine means no in-person interaction which is stimulation and also not as much work to do since you're stuck at home all day. personally during my 2020 era i watched a lot of erm...anime...and i also got into video games. i mean i've always been into video games but in 2020 since i had nothing else to do i got SUPER into video games like i played all day! anyways as a result of my overstimulating habits i had no time to reflect on myself and i felt like life was a bit boring. like obviously games were really fun and anime was fun to watch and tiktoks were fun too and WHATEVER everything that i did was fun but at the end of the day i felt no sense of worth and i didn't have any ambitions or plans for myself for the future. like i've always had a passion in mathematics since like kinder cus my mom taught my stuff earlier (it was simple long addition and subtraction) but in 2020 i didn't work on ANYTHING. i simply just overstimulated myself with stupid activities all day and i wasn't exactly enjoying life mainly because i wasn't having any in-person interactions so i didn't go outside a lot either.........BUT ALSO because of overstimulation in general!!! LIKE i dont know guys i dont know how to describe it. like obviously i felt like i had a life but i didnt feel like i knew what life was and how to enjoy it. i didnt have time to reflect on myself or understand the philosophies of friendships and relationships or think about WHATEVER!!!! I DONT KNOW GUYS but you know what im talking about right?? 

okay so i just did a quick google search and overstimulating activities like tiktok affect the limbic system which pretty much controls your emotions and mood and whatever and thats probably why after you're doing something overstimulating like watching tiktoks or playing video games for 5 hours straight or whatever makes you feel a bit empty and sad. like personally i feel way better when im in the sun or yk...outside...than when ive been on tiktok for 2 hours straight. maybe i should delete tiktok guys theres like nothing positive about it and its distracting me from my success!

anyways i know a lot of people are scared of confronting their thoughts and feelings but you cant run away from them all the time silly! like come on buddy be real right now. those feelings are going to eventually creep up on you one day and then you're gonna cry and break down and whatever like there's no positive outcome to this. stop being a coward and let yourself think! being bored is a good thing and personally i think the reason why i have this blog is because i think a lot and i have a lot of thoughts that i want to get out and keep permanent because sometimes i have questions or thoughts in my head that i want to further research but then i forget about them so i have this blog to let myself write them down. well actually i have this blog because i like to talk a lot and i also like to think and this blog is a way for me to talk to myself. also i think that's where the whole "people who talk to themselves are smart" thing came from because when you talk to yourself you're practically just self reflecting and developing your thoughts further as well as your critical thinking skills probably cus you know you're thinking and analyzing your thoughts and then making new neuron connections or whatever idk im not a neurologist. anyways when you're bored don't even THINK about reaching that phone and instead let yourself be bored! let yourself think and reflect on your life! let yourself feel whatever emotions you're feeling and you'll probably be happier idk! that's how meditation works btw well obviously but i just wanted to say that because i just realized the connection between being bored and meditation i think it's very cool

anyways i was just about to write a blog post about romance books and why i think they're the best thing to ever exist but then i saw this unfinished blog draft and i was like "yeah no i finish everything that i start" because you know im just a productive and smart and confident and studious woman who doesn't procrastinate so i finished it! idk i wasn't really thinking about what i was writing this time. i was kinda just saying whatever came into my head because i didn't feel like making this blog post comprehensible even though a lot of my blog posts aren't comprehensible anyway so what's the point of trying to make this one comprehensible AM I RIGHT okay bye guys i really want to write that blog post about romance books also i gave up on making thumbnails i dont have that type of time man WELL maybe ill make them for my blog posts again when i feel like it one day