brrly babbles journal entry #2 (update on life!!)

hi guys!! welcome back to another brrly babbles post. i told my mom "goodnight" like 10 minutes ago but i decided to go on my laptop and read my old blog posts. she can definitely hear me typing right now but its okay. anyways, i haven't posted anything in a while and i wanted to update you guys on my life! this blog is practically my way of getting my feelings out because i don't exactly vent to anyone, nor do i like to physically journal because physically writing takes a lot of time and my thoughts come out very quickly, so i need to type them out. i have a typing speed of 130 wpm btw just putting it out there. since i haven't posted in a while and i don't like physically journaling or venting, that means i haven't let out my feelings in a good month or two, and that also means NO BUENO BRRLY!!! 

i think the reason why i don't like venting to anyone is because it feels like i'm being dramatic whenever i speak about my feelings and i know i'm supposed to accept them or whatever i just can't help but feel like i'm being dramatic about my problems. "there's people out there being killed and starved and tortured and i'm complaining about my small world problems" is how i see it at least like i know i'm allowed to feel emotional and letting my feelings out is good but IDK i just don't like people seeing me in a vulnerable and sensitive state. it's not like i've been manipulated in the past or anything. okay let's not get too deep into this before i start venting to YOU GUYS!!!!!

anyways sophomore year is so interesting. like i'm currently taking ap chem and i honestly don't know how to feel. like i'm not sure if i'm just bad at the subject or my teacher's way of teaching the class just isn't for me. at least the class is training me to take notes because i've never taken notes for a class on my own until now. usually the teacher takes the notes with us so we have a format to follow and know what to put down, but this class i am entirely on my own with writing notes. i have an a in the class but it's because of all the extra credit we're given. i'm grateful for the extra credit but i also wish i had an A in the class because of earned test scores not because of extra credit. but OH WELL i will get a good score on the next test and prove that i am good at chemistry! 

also cross country is such an interesting sport like i can't believe i chose to do this sport. i run from 4-6 miles a day and it's been a ride guys. this sport has taught me to work hard and to never give up, even when i am having the worst cramp in my stomach or feel like throwing up. i feel so proud of myself after every workout and it's a great feeling when i know i completed the workout without giving up!! also i made it to varsity which i never thought would happen in a million years. i don't run super impressive times but my 5k pr is a 21:55 which i am pretty proud of. i hope to get maybe a sub 20 pr next year!

remember what i said about losing my interest in coding? well i freaking LIED! i don't know why but i always lose my interest in coding during the summer, and then it randomly comes back around the fall and winter. i'm currently working on the girls who code ai challenge, and this year's theme is sustainability!!! like wow my favorite topic!! i only have a couple of ideas down right now but that's okay. i'll continue to work on it slowly at a time and i will have a big project done by the deadline!

also i think i'm going to get into competitive programming as well as the chemistry olympiad. i think i should dedicate myself to one competition but i'll try out both and see which one i like better. i also do math olympiad so i gotta choose my priorities. anyways my mom is yelling at me to go to sleep so i'll just post another one tomorrow dedicated to me ranting about competitions because that's the thing i've been focused on lately. also i'm going to be running at least 5 miles tomorrow and i will make sure i do because i haven't ran in almost a week since i've been sick and i feel like a bum for not running. 

goodnight everyone i hope ur christmas break is going great!!!