brrly babbles about how success does not amount to one's worth (SLOW DOWN!!!)

introduction

hello everyone and welcome back to another brrly babbles blog post!! lately, i've been a bit unmotivated to do like everything and it makes me feel bad about myself 😞. i feel the need to be productive all the time and make the most of my time!!! i also don't like taking breaks because when i'm taking a break, obviously i'm not being productive, so that makes my break a kind of torturous session where i'm just downgrading myself for taking a break EVEN THOUGH I KNOW that taking a break makes you more productive. when i'm taking a break, i also try to make the most of the break time that i have but that causes me to waste time. for example, i try to do all the fun things i've been setting to the side in these breaks but because i have so many side hobbies to the point where i don't know which thing to choose and i end up wasting my break and when i waste time i feel even more unproductive. additionally, i just feel the need to accomplish all my goals, long term and short term, in one day because it feels like everyone and everything is accelerating by so quickly. i just want to be super productive and efficient and do everything that i can in a day and be at my absolute best 24/7!!! today we will be talking about why you shouldn't be feeling this way, that is if you are also feeling this way. this will also tie into what the blog title is, which is why we think success amounts to our worth. this mindset of success = worth is essentially what drags us into the depths of workaholic hell, and today's post will hopefully drag you out before it's too late!

we are moving too quickly!

today i went to the library and i had nothing to do because i finished all my homework at school like the productive woman that i am. i borrowed a laptop from the library because they have a check-out cart now which is pretty cool but i wanted to code and that meant that i would need my own laptop and my own laptop was at home so i decided to do the one thing that i haven't done for enjoyment in a while, and that one thing is to READ! i grabbed some books off the shelves that i hoped would change my mindset or teach me something new because god forbid i read for my own enjoyment and be unproductive for a bit. today however i will let myself off for having a workaholic brain because the books i chose have transformed me into a new person and one of them is the reason why i am writing this blog post! this very important book is called Thank You for Being Late by Thomas L. Friedman (MY GOAT!!!). i'm on page 22 right now and the takeaway of this book isn't even about how taking a break is good but it's definitely an element. i lowkey don't even know what the main takeaway of the book is but it's about how all the aspects of our world are accelerating and how to survive and thrive in such an environment where everything is in 2x speed!!!!!!!!! anyway the author talks about how his motivation for writing this book came from a pause that he took to think. he's a journalist and often talks with people over coffee and breakfast or whatever and sometimes these people are late so he has a few minutes to just pause and think. that is where the title came from by the way because he thanks the people for being late. because of their late arrivals he's able to appreciate the life around him and enjoy life for what it is! 

this little backstory made me think about my own life and how caught up i am in trying to be the most successful and hardworking person out there. i try so hard to do everything, that i end up doing nothing. i work so hard to the point where i lose sight of my goals. i try to accelerate at everything i do because i want to do everything and be on top. however, because of this mindset, i forget to enjoy life. working hard and being successful and accomplished isn't what life is all about but a lot of people forget that. of course not working hard to earn a living is going to kick you in the butt because everyone needs a job to survive. however, working yourself 24/7 and constantly trying to be the best is also going to kick you in the butt. like yes, i get it, being the best feels great and i know how it feels to want to be the greatest!! i wouldn't be writing this blog post if i wasn't an aspiring jack of all trades. however, and this will sound very nihilistic, but we all die in the end no matter how great we are so you might as well enjoy the present right now for what it is. you will miss the beauty of life if you are focused on how great you could be in the future when you are already great in the present! 

slow down and take a moment to think about your life instead of trying to accelerate. you don't have to accomplish everything in life and you don't have to be the best! i don't even know how to put this in words which is probably a result of my underdeveloped writing skills and the countless vocabulary words that i know but cannot recall, BUT just give yourself time to be unproductive. there is a reason why meditation makes you more productive and happy! meditation gives you time to reflect on your thoughts and actions without interruption. by letting yourself reflect and slow down, stress is taken away and gives your brain a break which in turn makes you more productive!!!! 

success does not amount to your worth

comparing one's self-worth to those who are more successful is a very bad habit that a ton of us share. i've always known that my self-worth was more than just the grades on my report card but i needed more clarity as to why i was feeling this way, and today has provided me with what i needed! i often degrade myself if i am not doing as good as my peers, and i know a lot of people feel this way as well. however, everyone accelerates at a different pace and peaks at different time intervals. just because another person is doing great doesn't mean you are doing bad! and i put that in bold because that's the one mantra that holds me back from insanity when another person does better than me. OKAY that makes me sound very egotistical and envious but it is simply because i am insecure, i am not a mean and evil person. i love to see other people flourish and accomplish their goals!! i do not hate people who are better than me!!!! THEY ARE MY INSPIRATION!! please don't cancel me

people often romanticize studying and glorify working super long hours to earn perfection, but perfection does not exist. people are often praised for how hard they work as well, and those who take shortcuts of do not work as hard are looked down upon. our society cultivates an environment where working yourself to death is praised, and maybe that's why some of us work so hard. because we want the praise and the glory! but i argue that our society should cultivate an environment that pushes for a focus on the enjoyment of life. practicing mindfulness should be a thing in classrooms!!!! i would be a fire teacher guys 🔥🔥🔥

just remember that because you're not the best at something doesn't mean you aren't worth any less than a person who is better than you. you're probably better than them in some aspect and even if you aren't it probably doesn't matter. honestly guys maybe the reason why i base so much of my self worth on how good i am at something is because i just don't know how to enjoy life! perhaps i shall meditate and read more. i will continue to read rom com books even if they make me feel unproductive and i will play video games when i want to. i will not degrade myself for not coding nor will i degrade myself for not understanding something. i will simply accept life as it is because acceptance is bliss! 

conclusion

guys i think i've written a bunch of blog posts on how i don't feel like i'm enough like this is kind of crazy. sorry if this is like a carbon copy of another blog post. i hope you don't feel like you're reading the same thing over and over again because my blog is supposed to be of variety because i am a woman of variety! anyways, thanks for reading this blog post again and i hope i inspired you to take a different outlook on life and to give yourself a break. maybe you'll even start meditating too!!! i once meditated in 7th grade for a pe class and it actually changed my life like i felt so calm and serene afterwards and i've been meaning to get back into meditation but i forgot all about it because i've been so focused on being the greatest that i forgot to let myself be happy! i shall finish this book and hopefully the other book i borrowed as well which is about the environmental impacts made by humans (Life Changing by Helen Pilcher) and if i get bored of both of them that's too bad. i will probably go back to my rom com books if i get bored of them because that's where the party's at! okay thanks for reading my blog post guys remember to take a second to pause and reflect and focus on the present!