brrly babbles about whatever cus she's bored

hello everyone welcome back to another blog post i am not going to try to make my sentences grammatically accurate today aka i will not be adding a bunch of periods to separate my run-on sentences because i don't feel like it but anyway i wanted to update you guys on my life because i feel like it and i've just been sitting in bed listening to music and doing nothing because i'm kind of tired today wasn't even like a long working day i just don't have motivation to do anything right now also there will not be any separate sections like in my usual blog posts where i separate everything into sections with headers cus i don't feel like it

anyways guys today i crocheted some petals for tulips that i'm making for my friends and WOW i'm so proud of my progress i've been crocheting for a week and i was struggling really badly so i brought some crocheting stuff to my track meet to practice and i've just been practicing a lot lately like i just sit in bed crocheting and making flowers and it's so fun i love crocheting i love making stuff you know i used to be really artistic and creative but now i don't draw at all or paint and my art wasn't good by the way don't expect me to have been an artist prodigy because i wasn't one and that's probably the reason i quit but i don't know man maybe i'll get back into painting when i feel like it

anyway the reason i think why i'm unmotivated and mentally tired is because i didn't actually go to school today i went on a field trip the entire day and then OMG GUYS sorry topic change but i just realized that i forgot to mention that i memorized 100 digits of pi because yesterday was pi day (3/14) and i realized that i've never gotten past the first like 10 digits of pi so i was like "yk what im going to make it my goal to memorize some digits of pi" because i was in comp sci class aka that one class i knew was going to be super boring and i only took it because i didn't want a history class and BOOM i memorized 60 digits and today i memorized another 40!! let me type it down right now because for some reason reciting the digits of pi is really fun i have this app where u just type in the digits of pi and u have to restart if u get one wrong and it's how i've been practicing and memorizing and ITS SO FUN its literally just typing in numbers but idk FUN!!! also did you guys know that i accidentally memorized my mom's credit card number like genuinely it was on accident like when i order something online the numbers just come into my head and when i put them in without looking at her card it's correct and i think i'm just good at memorizing numbers idk like i have temporary photographic memory or something it's kinda cool maybe i just have good memory omg i want photographic memory tho well not really what if i don't want to remember something traumatic okay MOVING ON DIGITS OF PI

3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841971693993751058209749445923078164062862089986280348253421170679821 okay thats all i remember i did not copy and paste i promise there might be some mistakes because i'm used to that calculator format thing on the pi game app

anyways guys i'm taking chemistry over the summer and i honestly don't know if that's a good idea but you never know unless you try right! i'm also taking ap euro and ap comp sci and if i pass chem over the summer i'll be taking ap chem too with zero period and a sport. why am i already stressing over my sophomore year when freshmen year hasn't ended yet this is so silly! i dont know guys is this a good idea chat. i found the textbook that my highschool uses for 8 bucks on ebay which is super cheap and idk cheap prices just make me really excited so i bought it along with two other books one on java programming cus im taking ap comp sci and atomic habits because i bought it for my friend and read the first two pages and i was like "damn i wish i bought this for myself instead" so i did a year later today!

also guys its currently 1 am and i started this post at 11 pm but then i got lazy and stopped writing until now so uhm. oopsies!! i will continue talking about my life now but anyways do you guys remember how i mentioned im in track?? well i am i know surprise surprise it's kinda weird i never imagined myself to be an athlete like i was super unathletic throughout all my years of school like i did taekwondo and karate but i wasn't a super athletic kid you know! but now i am an athlete! but i'm not very good but my goal by the end of the year is to get a 1:05 400m. and erm guys that's a little unachievable considering the fact that my pr is currently 1:12 but my friend said she'd buy me a book that's costs up to $60 and that's like driving all my motivation right now. like during my races if i feel the lactic acid in my legs i usually tell myself to slow down and let myself breathe which i know isn't good because i'm not supposed to slow down but i do anyway (DON'T TELL MY COACH) but with this newfound motivation i shall continue to push no matter how hard it is to breathe or how much my legs hurt honestly it's never the fact that my legs hurt though like during my races i don't even feel the pain in my legs i just can't breathe and then i start to panic and then i slow down because i'm afraid of not being able to breathe and breathing is literally my main problem HOW IS BREATHING THIS DIFFICULT GUYS i've literally been doing it since birth how am i not a professional yet. anyways guys my actual realistic goal is to get 1:07 by the end of the year because my favorite number is 7 and i think if i train very hard i can reach it right guys hahahahahahah!!!! please please please please please also i have an upcoming meet and let's just say the timing couldn't be worse because the day before i have fitness testing and my legs are already super sore for some reason even though we didn't do THAT much intense work this week and uhmm.....girl stuff... but it's okay guys i got this right! 1:05 pr THIS week trust me trust me trust me

okay guys but what will i do if i get a super good mile time? do i just change sports and go to cross country??? personally i think cross looks pretty nice and relaxing and i can actually control my breathing when i'm running a mile because i'm not stressing out about going super fast even though technically you do have to go fast but then it's pacing so it's not like the 400m soooojoiajwfiojasdf my mile time is around 8 minutes right now because i was running miles to make them up for my friend's pe class since she missed school and my time was around 8 minutes but i honestly have no idea because i had to stop a few times to wait for her but it was AROUND 8-9 minutes guys i think i can get sub 8 minutes during the fitness test RIGHT GUYS. RIGHT. gosh guys if i can't run a fast 400m OR a fast mile i'm just slow. like i'm NOTHING i'm USELESS if i can't run anything. also guys i'm just surprised in general how much i actually care about being fast like i thought i joined track just to be in a sport and then quit after sophomore year when my pe credits have been filled but i like the feeling of winning a race (even though i've never experienced that) and i like the feeling of getting better times and getting faster and seeing improvement and MUSCLES it's actually crazy i don't even need to flex my legs to see my calves it's kinda weird. and my arms i have BICEPS GUYS this is so crazy awesome!! see guys exercise DOES make you a happier person no wonder people tell you to workout if you want to be stress-free! i love track!!!

oh my gosh but my hips and my calves and my arches and my feet tendons have been hurting so much and for what. like my shins i don't really feel the pain cus i guess my shins are used to it now and they only hurt if i press on them but like when i walk my feet hurt and it's like they're stuck maybe i need to stretch more i don't know WHATEVER i've been in bed all day crocheting so that's probably why too. i do this to myself guys it's not track at this point i am the self-saboteur and i'm the reason why i run a slow 400m not because of my shins or my calves or my stomach aches. it's because i don't stretch and i lay in bed all day crocheting or doing homework. 

guys can you imagine me waking up at 6 am and going on a morning jog and then getting ready for school and making myself a breakfast fruit smoothie. like can you guys see me with such a healthy routine. honestly i think it'd be beneficial for me though because i'd be getting sunlight and nutrients and i'd be getting my body to move so i don't tense and tight muscles before my meets and being productive makes me really happy because i feel like i'm getting putting my full potential OUT THERE! but recently i haven't been very motivated to do anything and i am again going down the spiral of not putting my full potential OUT THERE and instead thinking about the things that i COULD be doing when i should just DO IT without THINKING!!!!!! you know what i'm sick and tired maybe it's because i don't get enough sleep. you guys have definitely heard of the circadian cycle but if not it's just your sleeping cycle. like you know how we wake up when the sun shines on our face and we start to get drowsy when the sun sets?? that's your circadian cycle and when you're a child your circadian cycle is a little early meaning you get up earlier and go to sleep earlier but when you grow up to be a teen your little chemicals start to change and whatever and you tend to go to sleep later and wake up later. the main chemicals i learnt about in the video that i was watching about the circadian cycle were melatonin, cortisol, and adenosine. melatonin and cortisol are hormones while adenosine is a neurotransmitter and i don't know what a biogenic amine is but that's what melatonin is i guess. anyway melatonin and cortisol start to kick in later in the day for teenagers meaning teens start to get drowsy later than in their childhood so they go to sleep later. so that's why teenagers are able to stay up for so late because our melatonin and cortisol aren't kicking in! anyway schools are adapting to this by making starting times later but honestly i think the reason why i'm not getting enough sleep is because i don't feel like sleeping like i have so much stuff i want to think about and then i start to think about it before i go to sleep and then BOOM i can't sleep and like that's a problem because even just 30 more minutes of sleep is beneficial to you and that's why i take naps when i can during school but then like wow i'm kind of contradicting myself right now because it's currently 1:23 am but anyway i usually sleep during 4th period because the teacher usually doesn't talk and i usually finish my work before the period ends so yay!!!! also midday naps are probably the best because it's not like super close to your bedtime and it won't mess up your sleeping schedule and then in the morning you're not like super tired so it won't even do anything so like yeah midday naps are the best guys take a nap during 4th period and you'll be the most hardworking and efficient person ever!

personally guys i think that if i get more sleep i'll be more motivated and potentially i will get out of my "burnt-out" stage of life and move into my academic weapon stage again because this time i actually need to be an academic weapon. i have so much stuff i need to do but i have no motivation to do it and it's ACTUALLY killing me bro like i have to prepare for chem over the summer because i'm not going to let myself fail. it'd be super embarrassing cus a bunch of people have warned me not to do it and they're probably right but i'm choosing to ignore their warnings and if i fail i'm proving them RIGHT!!! but i'm ALWAYS right guys just kidding it's so funny to act like i have a huge ego and that i think i'm super intelligent cus i get to make all these arrogant jokes but then it's not really funny because what's so funny about being arrogant. i don't know i just laugh at myself but anyways i need to prepare for chem over the summer and i have to get comfortable using java as well because i will NOT. I REPEAT NOT let myself fail a computer science class. also i'm taking ap euro because i want to learn more about the world especially european history because like that's super interesting i'm not taking it cus i have a fat ego that needs to be fed but because i genuinely want to learn the topic so to all you haters out there saying i shouldn't take ap euro because i'm going to die and that it's not worth it to feed my ego with those ap credits this is for you! i'm taking it to learn! not to get those sweet juicy gpa boosters! 

also guys i haven't played electric guitar in a while it's a little sad because how will i put that on my college application now? just kidding guys i'll play soon when i want to. what song should i learn guys personally i've been wanting to start a band but everyone is busy nowadays. perhaps i should just make my own music am i right!! just kidding i tried to write a song for a music elective once and originally the lyrics were about a boy i liked and it was so bad like do not ever give me the mic during a rap battle because i will lose before i even start. also i think i'm just bad at artistic self-expression in general like it's kinda crazy LIKE i'm not bad i'm just not creative i guess maybe i just don't have enough faith in my abilities you know what I'M NOT BAD i'm just not confident so don't take what i said earlier seriously because i was lying. i am not bad at artistic self-expression i'm just not confident enough to express myself truthfully through my artwork! 

you know what i'm going to learn a guitar song by the end of the week and boom i'll be back in guitar! i'll promise myself to practice guitar at least once a week too! i swear it's one of my passions i swear i swear i just don't have time for it anymore but if it was really one of my passion wouldn't i have made time for it by now? okay whatever i'm just talking to talk guitar is one of my passions no matter what i love guitar i love music i love art even though i'm a little bad at it WAIT no be confident kimberly vu! i am a great artist! okay i will practice different skills every week and hopefully learn a new song every TWO weeks. yes yes yes GOALS QUEEN YESSSS set those goals and reach em!!

okay guys here are my goals that i have set so far that i hope to achieve so i can get myself in check and bring back the ambitious fire that i was a while ago before finals burnt me out:

- run a 1:07 400m by the end of the year (maybe a 1:05)

- prep for chem and don't fail it over the summer

- learn java and become comfortable with it

- practice guitar every week (skills, techniques, songs every two weeks)

- get comfortable with electronic engineering and raspberry pi

i didn't discuss the last goal with u guys cus it just popped into my head but i bought a raspberry pi for christmas and i haven't really been using it since even though it's really interesting but i don't know guys. i will get back into it soon and today i went to a career forum for a school field trip and during the engineering workshop they showed us this cool rubiks cube they designed that can solve itself and it has a microcontroller inside it and I WANT TO ENGINEER SOMETHING!!! that is my sole motivation for getting into electronics. yippee guys i got this!!!

OH some more goals i just thought of some

- learn how to solve a rubiks cube (during the summer)

- get better at chess

i had one more goal but i forgot it probably because it's currently 1:40 am and your memory starts to get worse because the chemicals in your brain start to fog your thinking and whatever i don't know i'm not an expert on the topic so go ask google 

okay goodnight guys i need to charge up. BYE