brrly babbles about being alone aahhahhaha

hello and welcome back to my awesome amazing cool blog. i know i said i wouldnt ever break my streak of writing a blog post everyday but i kinda lied and this is my first blog post in like 7 months idk i havent been counting and im too lazy to check when my last blog post was posted but anyways...

today we will be talking about BEING A LONER!! i, myself, am not a loner at school but at home i am the biggest loner on planet earth. in my head i feel like a loner, but i dont seem like a loner irl! do you get it?!?! okay so let me elaborate and explain 

i am a total loser and a loner and a no lifer i have nothing to do all day in fact i spend more time thinking about what i should do instead of actually doing anything. nowww...how is that related to being a loner?? i have to think about what to do instead of actually doing anything because i dont have a routine, i dont talk to anyone that much when im not at school, and i am isolated in my room every single day doing the same thing over and over again (THINKING!!) now idk where i was gonna go with that but its supposed to set the mood and tell u im a major loner

also i am not writing this becuase i want u to feel sympathy for me, its simply because this is what ive been thinking about for the past 6 months

my parents go to work when im at school and dont come home until like 8 and today they came home at around 9:30 which is weird butttt hey they got me mcdonalds so its okay! 

so instead of having parents to talk to and discuss things with, i have only myself and some of my friends from school! but the thing is i dont have the motivation to talk to anyone and usually the conversation topic is boring!! i can assure u i love all of my friends and if ur one of my school friends reading this, i love you very much but i dont like small talk and id rather talk about something interesting or not talk at all 

thats not meant to be rude by the way i just dont like talking unless the topic is interesting but anyway i dont talk to my friends if the topic isnt interesting (and my interests... we'll talk about that later), my parents are barely home, and i dont text first. lowkey seems like im doing this to myself....

but hey! that is just the beginning of this brrly babbles blog post. i will be discussing why being alone is sometimes a good thing, the effects of being alone on a person and how it changes ur mindset and whatever, and my personal experience as a loner!

why being alone is a good thing (sometimes...)

being alone and a huge loner sounds like a really bad thing. on the media, being a loner is portrayed as sad and depressing and absolutely soul-crushing (and they're not wrong. sometimes...) but that's not how it always is! look on the bright side, you're able to have more time to think to yourself and you can be more productive and get things done. 

because i was a sorta loner and had nothing else to do, i started working on my guitar skills, my programming skills, i started reading more, i started studying more, and ive gone back to taekwondo! how cool! and i also do my homework like...not last minute...

also, by being alone i was able to reflect on myself and became a better person overall! kind of. im still kind of dramatic and sensitive and lowkey im more insecure because i think so much but thats not the point. the point is, i have better morals, and i have really good grades and i do my homework on time and i actually read and study and BOOM!!! 

do u want me to talk about what i reflected on during my alone time (which is also the present time)??? because i will in the last section!

so...being alone gives you time to be more productive and provides you with time to think and reflect on yourself which essentially helps you transform into the best you that you can be! but wait... what about the cons???....

pros of being a loner:

-productivity boost

-more time to reflect and think

-able to go about your day without someone texting you that you dont want to text back

-not worrying about whether u left ur friend on read or not because they didnt even text u in the first place 😂

cons of being a loner:

-more time to think about why ur a loner 

-nobody to spill those thoughts to

-nobody to talk to when ur bored

-nobody to support u when u need it

-isolation (leads to a boring life, also i feel like my days are the exact same. i feel like im doing the exact same thing everyday. i cant differentiate between yesterday, the day before yesterday, and today)

-and then boom mental health problems (i havent gotten there yet im okay dont worry but im talking about what it does to other people)

btw some of these cons and pros dont apply to me im not trying to guilt trip you this is supposed to be informational and help you look through the perspective of a loner

so i guess being a loner has more cons than pros doesnt it?? it kinda just depends on ur outlook on life. if ur an extrovert and get ur energy from being around other people and you LIKE being around other people and being social, then yeah being a loner would absolutely suck. but introverts, who get their energy from being alone, probably dont care. i lowk dont know if i like being alone or not but hey! ill find out in highschool

the effects of being a loner

obviously if ur outlook on being a loner is bad and u dont wanna be alone no longer, then its gonna have a really bad impact on u. for starters, youre gonna feel isolated and super sad and depressed and emo and BLEHHhhh and im not saying IM super depressed but this is probably how i would feel if i cared more about being alone 

now when i describe how i feel being a loner effects me its gonan sound super emo but im not depressed or anything!!! the extra exclamation marks make it sound like im being sarcastic but thats the way i talk I SWEAR

okay so, being a loner makes me feel isolated and a bit sad but thats okay! i mean i dont even feel that sad actually i just feel like im super bored and have not a lot of things to do. sometimes my productivity levels are super low too so that one pro about being more productive was a bit... idk... and then my routine feels the exact same way every single day and on the weekends i go ABSOLUTELY FERAL. without any social interaction i feel so bored and tired and USELESS.

okay so thats how being a loner makes me feel, but what about how its changed me as a person??

i have become more independent and realized that friends are more important than i thought and that isolating yourself and cutting off all communication is NOT a good idea (i havent tried it but i thought about it because i wanted to focus on school and studying) and that humans are meant to be social creatures and we were created to socialize

okay the last part isnt entirely true because i didnt learn that humans are social creatures because of being a loner, but i read about it in a book and now that im lowk a loner makes me really see in perspective how much communication humans actually need to survive because i feel like im gonna DIE ANY MOMENT NOW. but thats kinda my fault for not texting first ermmm

anyways the book i read it in is sapiens and of course i knew humans were social creatures before that but i didnt really understand like i thought they didnt mean what i thought they meant. i didnt fully understand all the things around that idea idk how to explain it but whatever i dont care. if you dont undersatnd DEAL WITH IT.

my personal experience as a loner

im not entirely a loner because hey! ive got friends at school who care about my feelings and talk to me! but i still feel alone like i have all these thoughts inside my head and i dont know how to get them out maybe its cuz i cant communicate them out but like 

okay that was off topic but anyway at least i have friends at school right?? a lot of people dont have any friends at all and some of them probably dont have parents who theyre close to either, so im sorry for the ultimate loners out there i hope youre doing well

but being a lowk loner is sooooo BLEH. today i went to the school dance, took some cool pictures, went home and unboxed my macbook air (usually i would call someone to unbox something as cool as that but instead i recorded a video on my phone for memories and nobody else is gonna look at that video) and then i ate, did some programming, sent some texts back (not convos, but texts), and then i wanted to be more productive and study or analyze somethign so i went back to my blog page because i thought "hey i used to post my chemistry stuff on there and analyze books and love and stuff" so here i am! 

also i am still the same person i was before i mean my typing style is a bit different like what the freak im barely using any caps and im not freaking out as much and im actually using...periods?... WHATTTTT!!

im just a bigger loner than before but thats okay i kinda like being a loner it makes me feel more productive and i feel more like myself but i do wish i had one really really realllyyyy close friend to talk to about my interests and topics like these and just rant to them about topics like this because its fun

and ranting doesnt mean emotionally putting out everything on your mind because thats not what i mean by ranting. right now i am ranting into a blog post, thats what i mean. i mean by going on and on about a topic!

i would love to rant to someone about these topics but for now i have my blog post and nobody to read them

but hey i have a macbook air m1 now! its really nice to type on and the battery lasts SUPERRRRRRR long ive been using it for like 3 hours now and its only gone down by 11 percent! how awesome is that and im paying it with my own money every month so dont call me spoiled. it can kinda run games btw but i dont think im gonna be playing many games because i dont want to destroy it! 

okay thank you for reading about me being a loner and i hope you all realize that being a loner isnt too bad sometimes and plus theres lots of loner in the world, so technically youre not a loner you have other loners too (who u most likely dont know but shut up ur ruining my optimism speech!) okay thank you and goodbye! have a good day and btw we're all likely to be alone (even if we have a partner and kids) in the future but in a good way like independence

okay actually not goodbye i wanted to add a song that describes how i feel about being a loner its called if u feel alone at parties. super good pls listen its exactly how i feel the mood the lyrics EVERYTHING I LOVE IT!!!! bye now thank you for reading my blog post :)))